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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26015377">Habits of the Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie'>Kattwyllie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Cheating, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Shooting, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:28:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26015377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey joins the team at SVU as ADA not knowing her ex is a detective there. They've got more than enough dramatic history, will working cases together bring them closer or shove them apart?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Casey Novak/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“5’s are in, Benson said we’re good ta go.” Sonny spoke, you glanced up at your partner from your desk, “Ya wanna grab a drink?” You gave a weary sigh, pushing back from your desk as you stood,</p><p>“Like you wouldn’t believe.” It had been one hell of a long couple of weeks, the case you’d just closed being more than you’d ever wanted to deal with. On top of all of it, your A.D.A. decided that sex crimes wasn’t cutting it and left back to D.C. meaning you’d have to deal with <em>yet another</em> useless lawyer who didn’t know what they had coming for the first few weeks before they finally got it. You’d been with SVU since you’d graduated the academy, partnered briefly with Fin while he showed you the ropes until Olivia had moved you and Carisi together. The two of you worked together seamlessly, from the way you complimented each other when it came to putting clues together to the way you broke a perp in interrogation, you were simply flawless. It helped that you clicked so much personally, often spending evenings after work together, you’d grab drinks, he’d made you dinner a few times, you spent more time with him than anyone else from the squad.</p><p>You arrived at your go to spot within a few blocks, it was close to the precinct and about halfway between your apartments. Ordering your usual drinks, you fell into an easy flow of conversation, Sonny told you all about his most recent visit with his adorable niece, mentioning that Bella wanted to see you again soon. You talked about how annoying your baby brother was being, constantly pestering you for ‘cool cop stories’ that he could tell his friends. A few hours passed before you even realized how long you’d been at the bar. When the bartender asked if you needed another round, you checked your phone, realizing how late it was, knowing you should probably get home, it was still a weekday. Carisi was kind enough to pay the tab, walking you out of the pub, </p><p>“I’ll walk ya home Doll.”</p><p>“Sonny, you really don’t need to…” You briefly stopped, turning to face him, leaning against the brick wall of the bar, “I live less than five minutes from here.”</p><p>“I know…but a lot can happen in a few blocks.” His voice was low, and he was unbearably close to you, you could nearly feel his breath on your face, “Besides…” Before you could even imagine, his lips were against yours, meeting you in a gentle and soft kiss, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek. You nearly sunk into it for a moment before you gently tugged him off of you, </p><p>“Sonny…” His face turned to concern, hands instinctively flying off you.</p><p>“Sorry…I just…I thought—”</p><p>“No..hey, it’s okay, nothing needs to be weird, I’m just not…into…it…” You could see his face fall, reaching out to stroke his arm you spoke again, “Hey…Dominick you’re absolutely amazing! You’re going to make the luckiest girl in the world incredibly happy one day, there’s no doubt in my brain you’d be the absolute best husband and an even better father…trust me..” He gave you a confused look, </p><p>“Then…why?”</p><p>“You’re just not my type…”</p><p>“What..you prefer jerks like Amaro?” You barked laughed at that, </p><p>“Sonny…I’m gay…” His face scrunched, you’d shared so many personal facts over the last few years, yet you’d never mentioned anything about something like this.</p><p>“Oh God! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean ta—“ You cut him off with a hand over his mouth, flashing him a smile.</p><p>“It’s fine, most people don’t know anyways.” You linked your arm into his elbow, “You were walking me home right?” You gave him a smirk as the two of you moved through the streets of New York, he spoke after a few blocks.</p><p>“So…what is your type?”</p><p>“You ever watch Grey’s Anatomy?” He scoffed,</p><p>“I have three sisters, of course I’ve seen it.”</p><p>“Addison <em>fucking</em> Montgomery,”  You practically groaned, Sonny laughing at your response.</p><p>“Tall redheads with sultry voices, I’ll keep that in mind.” You free hand smacked his chest gently as you pulled up to your apartment, a smirk on your lips. </p><p>“Thanks for the walk home.” You pulled him into a hug, willingly accepting the kiss into your hair, “Text me when you get home okay?” He nodded before moving down the street as you made you way into your apartment.</p><p>***</p><p>The following week rolled around faster than you wanted it to, you were at your desk attempting to hammer out details on a case when Olivia approached you a pile of files in her hands.</p><p>“Can you take these down to the D.A’s office for me?” You glanced up, </p><p>“Yeah, ‘course. You know who I’m looking for?” She sighed heavily, running a hand over her face, </p><p>“No. I guess just go up to the main office where Barba was, they should be there, no one gave me a name. Carisi was in court today, I told him to meet you down there.”</p><p>“Okay, thanks Cap.” You quickly grabbed your things together, tossing on your blazer before leaving the precinct. Always glad for the excuse to leave the office as you moved through the streets of Manhattan. Though the break wasn’t long before you were approaching Hogan Place, you found Carisi at the entrance to the building, greeting him as you moved inside to the elevator.</p><p>“Y/N, I’ve got a fuckin present for you.”</p><p>“Really?” You smirked, “I don’t see a coffee in your hands..” He scoffed at that, </p><p>“I’ll buy ya one on the way out, geeze.” He rolled his eyes as the elevator dinged signalling your floor. You both moved easily though the hallway, you briefly knocked on the door of the A.D.A’s office, not noticing Sonny’s smirk as you pulled the files out of your bag, your head down.</p><p>“Hey, Captain Benson’s asking for search warrants for Hiller’s house, phone and computer, we’ve got the cause here.” It was when your head glanced up to actually see her that your heart practically stopped. You could practically feel Carisi’s grin oozing through the room.</p><p>“..Detective Summers….didn’t realize you were with SVU..” Casey’s voice was unsure, a hint of hesitancy shaking through it as she moved to take the files from you.</p><p>“I..didn’t know you’d taken over for our A.D.A…” Your voice trailed off, Sonny spoke from beside you, noticing that his surprise of Casey to you wasn’t going as planned,</p><p>“You two know each other?” You both quickly nodded out a ‘yeah’ barely looking at each other before Casey spoke again, </p><p>“This is good, I’ll have your warrants sent over by the end of the day.” You muttered a thanks before nearly dragging Carisi away from the office and into the elevator, heart thundering in your chest, feelings completely overwhelming you.</p><p>“Doll what the hell was that?” He questioned, a hand on your back in an attempt to calm you down.</p><p>“That..”You began, attempting to hold all the tears and emotion back. “Was my fucking ex…” You knew that you ran in similar career fields but you didn’t think you’d actually end up working together, last you heard Casey had been working white collar crimes. </p><p>“The one that cheated on you?” Carisi took your distress knowingly, if you were this rattled it clearly wasn’t cause you happily broke up with someone. You nodded your head as he pulled you into his arms, thankful for the empty elevator, “It’s okay Y/N, we don’t need to worry about her.” You pulled away sharply, he was surprised to find there weren’t tears in your eyes, </p><p>“She’s our A.D.A., I think it’s something we have to worry about.” You rolled your eyes, “I can’t fucking believe this…” When the elevator dinged at the main floor Sonny couldn’t stop you, you’d left the files with him as you’d stormed off, wanting to be anywhere but near the DA’s office.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few tense weeks had passed, you avoided the DA’s office like the fucking plague, if Olivia sent you and Sonny over you usually opted to wait downstairs, something that Casey definitely noted, everyone else came in pairs. Not that it affected your work, you had no problem working through cases when she was in the bull pen with the squad, often shooting ideas and comments around as if you’d just met her. Currently, you were working through a case that involved you and Sonny digging up boxes of a cold case that seemed eerily similar. </p><p>Casey walked into the bull pen, warrants in her hand, she raised a brow to Fin, </p><p>“Carisi?”</p><p>“Conference room…” He muttered, barely looking up from his computer. She nodded a thanks, moving down the hallway, you were sitting at a table surrounded by case files, scribbling on a legal pad. You briefly glanced up at movement in the doorway, Carisi had left to refill your coffees, at first you thought it was just him. You tensed when you saw it was Casey instead of your partner, not bothering to greet her you turned back to your work. “Search warrant for the Molson case.” She extended the paper to you, you took it with a small glance at her, </p><p>“Thanks.” Casey could feel the anxiety bubbling in her chest, she hadn’t expected to find you alone and she knew she had to take advantage of the situation before Sonny popped back up.</p><p>“Hey…uhm…I’m really sorry…” That certainly caught your attention. Sighing you stilled your pen, looking up at her.</p><p>“For which part? The cheating? Or getting caught? Or how about the part where Charlie went fucking psycho and came at me? I broke a rib Casey!” You weren’t even sure which part you were the most upset about, the rib stung, you’d just started at Brooklyn’s SVU and ended up on desk duty for a month. </p><p>“All of it…I just…I thought I could help him…”</p><p>“With your vagina?!” Picking up your pen you turned away from her, you could feel the tears beginning to pool in your eyes and like hell you were going to let her see them, “Let me get back to work, I’m trying to catch a serial rapist here counsellor.” She opened her mouth to reply right as Sonny walked in,</p><p>“Oh, hey Counsellor.” He put a mug of fresh coffee down beside you, noticing the tension in the room, “Everything alright?” Casey stuttered out a yes as you spoke, voice cold and hard.</p><p>“Yeah. <em>Novak was just leaving</em>.” There was no use pushing the issue now, especially with Carisi in the room, Casey really didn’t need her dirty laundry aired with the whole squad, so she simply left. Sonny plopped down into his chair, taking in your form, </p><p>“You sure you’re okay?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Your lip trembled slightly, hand whipping up to wipe away the stray tear that had managed to escape.</p><p>“She really broke your heart, didn’t she?” Carisi’s voice was soft, encouraging. He’d known you had an ex that cheated on you (he’d only just found out it was a woman) you’d never specified or given the details, it had simply come up in conversation relating to a case a year ago.</p><p>“More like fucking shattered it….” You trailed off….</p><p>***<br/><em>You and Casey had been happy, incredibly happy, engaged and in the midst of starting the wedding plans when Charlie popped back up into your lives. Casey had remained friends with him after they’d broken up, she was worried about him going off the deep end with his schizophrenia. You weren’t too fond of the whole situation but you knew Casey had a good heart, and that it helped Charlie to have regularity in his life, helped balance things out. It was the middle of January, absolutely freezing while ice and snow covered the city, you’d been lucky enough to close a case and get the go ahead to leave early, returning to the warmth of your apartment, into the arms of your fiancee. You could hear noise coming from down the hall, smirking to yourself, Casey was clearly getting a head start without you. Shrugging off your coat you made your way down to the bedroom, softly pushing the door open as you spoke.</em></p><p>
  <em>“Don’t have too much fun without m—“ You shrieked, Casey certainly was getting a head start without you, problem was she wasn’t alone, “What the FUCK?!” The man’s head swung around, slimy grin on his face, “Charlie?!” You were completely baffled, and more than pissed, directing your next comment to your fiancee, “What is wrong with you?!” Casey was quick to shove Charlie off her, wrapping a robe around her before chasing you back out to the entrance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Baby, wait!”  You whirled around to face her, tugging your coat on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No! You don’t get to baby me anymore!” Charlie had padded his way out after her, when she went to move towards you, he forcefully tugged her back against him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Doesn’t matter, not like she loves you anyways.” He sneered,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s pretty fucking clear. You can keep this.” You tossed your engagement ring onto the kitchen island, hastily making your exit from the apartment, tears burning against your face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It took a few days for you to even remotely calm down, thankful for the few changes of clothes in your work locker, and the partner who’s couch you crashed on. You knew you obviously needed to go back to the apartment to collect at least your clothes if not all your things, which brought you to today. It was a surprise to you when you opened the door to Casey sitting at the island working on something, her head shot up, eyes softening when she saw you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey…” She started, you put a palm up, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m just here to get my stuff, I thought you’d be at work.” Your voice was steady, with no hints of infliction, you’d hoped to be able to do this with no interruptions. That clearly wasn’t going to be the case since she followed you into the bedroom, watching you pull out a bag, starting to empty the closet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did…you want to talk?” Casey’s voice was impeccably soft, she felt horrible for everything that had happened, Charlie needed her help, she just got too wrapped up in his mind games and was simply lost within them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. I don’t want to talk. I want to get my stuff and move on with my life.” Stalling your movements you looked over at her, eyes falling to the bruise on her upper arm, God you could see the finger indentations. Casey felt your eyes lingering on the dark spots, shifting her body in an attempt to think she could hide them like you’d never seen them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It was an accident….” You snorted, moving back to quickly shoving items throughout the room into the bag.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah right…Casey I’m a cop! I’m not an idiot, I’ve seen this a million times before, you need to get out now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I just…need to get him back on his meds and he’ll be fine…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He’s off his meds?! Jesus Casey! When are you going to get it into your head that you can’t save him?! I love you, I really do, but I am done! I’m done trying to help you, and I certainly can’t save you. If you don’t want to be saved, so be it, but if you don’t walk away from this soon the only way you’re getting out is in a body bag and you know it.”  You’d just wrapped a particularly tough domestic violence case and things were simply sitting a little to close to home at the moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I—“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Save it.” Shouldering the bag you moved from the room, having not heard the door opening you jumped when you saw Charlie in the entrance way, scowling over at you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’d’you think you’re doing here?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s bold. Last time I checked it was my name was on the lease, not yours.” God did he ever hate how goddamn cocky you were, you spared Casey one last glance, “Call me when you want him arrested.” She yelped in response, seeing it coming before you thanks to your back being turned. Charlie lunged at you, his fist narrowly missing your face, landing on your collarbone instead, when you attempted to shove him off you he threw you into the kitchen island, your side slamming into the counter harder than you’d expected. Wincing heavily, the wind knocked out of you, you shot a nasty glare at Charlie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Get the fuck out of our house.” He snarled in response. Shaken up by the entire thing your brain wasn’t entirely working, you practically forgot you were a cop, you should have collared him then and there, but you left, and never once did you look back. You kept Casey’s number in your phone just on the off chance that she’d change her mind about pressing charges, but you never reached out.</em>
</p><p>***<br/>“Why didn’t you press charges?” Sonny asked gently, you shrugged in response.</p><p>“I didn’t need to air my personal life at work. And I didn’t want to drag Casey through a mess like that…” </p><p>“You’re still in love with her…” There was a hint of a smirk on Carisi’s lips, you rolled your eyes, refusing to admit to it, grabbing the warrant from the table you stood.</p><p>“C’mon, we’ve got a house to search.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next case you caught was less than heartwarming, the victim had come forward originally, making an outcry statement to her sister, who came to SVU with the information. Olivia sent you and Carisi to talk to the vic, only to find her gone from the apartment, when you’d eventually tracked her down it was on the ledge of a roof in the middle of Manhattan. Carisi was more than impressed with the very gentle way you talked to her as you very hesitantly moved closer to her, far enough away that he couldn’t quite make out what you were saying. He was even more impressed when the poor girl climbed down, collapsing in a fit of sobs into your arms. Your heart was hammering in your chest, you were sure she was going to end up going over the edge and the rescue crew hadn’t gotten there yet. You gave her a few long moments of reassuring and comforting, letting her know it was going to be okay before you collected her down to the precinct.</p><p>Back at the 16th Olivia let you take lead since you had the strongest connection with Julia, sending Carisi back to talk to the sister. When you entered the room with a spare bottle of water, it was just Olivia on the other side of the glass. You kept your movements slow and cautious, your voice steady and soft as you tried to get Julia to open up about her attack. She was clearly rattled up, practically jumping out of her skin when an alarm went off on her phone, she silenced it quickly, reaching into her bag.</p><p>“Sorry…” She muttered, dumping out a pill into her hand.</p><p>“It’s okay.” You gave her a soft smile, then you found your in, recognizing the little yellow pill in her palm, “Zoloft?” You questioned as she popped it into her mouth, brows furrowing as she swallowed a gulp of water with the anti depressant. </p><p>“What, they give you a pharmaceutical degree with that badge?” She shot back, you sighed, folding your arms against the table between you.</p><p>“No. I was on them for a couple years.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“I…got my heart broken…sent me off the deep end into a pretty bad downward spiral.” Julia was shocked by your honesty, but you knew it was the easiest way to slowly break away at her shell, get the story out of her. What you didn’t know was that Casey had arrived at the precinct and was on the other side of the one way glass. Her heart dropped into her stomach listening to the words you were saying, she knew it was a tactic for detectives to make up stories to get through to people but she also knew in her soul that this wasn’t fake.</p><p>“They really let a cutter be a cop?” Julia realized her brashness a second too late, “Sorry…”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” You sighed, “Self harm isn’t always about cutting, I threw myself into my work, I barely slept, definitely indulged in too much wine, I did everything I could to distract myself from having a spare moment to think about my ex. I nearly lost my job…”</p><p>It had been a really bad couple of years for you, you’d been so fucking head over heels for Casey it took nearly two months for you to even come to terms with the cheating part of the scandal. Your heart was absolutely wrecked, you’d just started at a new precinct and didn’t have the support system you needed to help you out of the deep pit, you just continued to dig it deeper. It was when you’d nearly been shot on the job that you attended a mandatory therapy session, breaking down into a fit of sobs over everything, which resulted in the Zoloft being prescribed. When your Captain in Brooklyn had to suspend you, you knew you needed to change something in your life, and put in transfer papers knowing Manhattan needed a few extra hands. When the squad was more than welcoming and you found the incredible support of Sonny as a friend and Fin as a partner, you managed to start pulling yourself out of said pit.</p><p>“Did you ever think about ending it?” Julia’s voice was wavering, you could see the tears pooling in her eyes.</p><p>“Not exactly…but I definitely thought it would be easier to simply not exist than deal with the heartbreak anymore…”</p><p>“So you get it?”</p><p>“Yeah. I <em>really do</em>.” You slowly reached out, giving her hand a soft squeeze, “Julia, there’s another way out of this…if you tell me about what happened, we can catch the bastard and you don’t have to worry about him ever again. I know it seems like such an easy way out to just disappear, but you’ve already survived, and <em>survival is strength.</em> We’ll put him behind bars, and I know a few very well recommended people you can talk to that will help you move past all of this, because life is worth living. <em>Believe me</em>…I know…” </p><p>It was then that she broke, tears slowly slipping their way across her cheeks while she went through excruciating details of her assault. On the other side of the glass Casey felt her own tears burning in her eyes, she’d had no idea what you’d gone through after you’d left. She’d been so wrapped up in trying to save Charlie, brain scrambled by his psychotic games that she didn’t even happen to think about how you were coping. She didn’t notice you standing, giving Julia a gentle squeeze on the shoulder as you moved from the room, you gave her a slight nod in greeting as you spoke to Benson.</p><p>“I’ll take her to Mercy myself, I just…need a minute…”</p><p>“Course.” Liv replied, you disappeared into the precinct, giving yourself time to try and calm down. You wondered how much of your story Casey had heard, or if she thought it was just a tactic of yours. “You okay?” Olivia addressed the A.D.A. beside her. Casey shook out of her trance, </p><p>“Yeah…I just…Summers did really well in there. Mental health’s hard to work around…” She couldn’t quite find the words without admitting secrets to Olivia and she wasn’t ready for that yet.</p><p>***</p><p>It took a few hours, but Julia’s rape kit was finally down at the lab and she was back at her sister’s apartment. Rollins and Fin had brought in her attacker while you and Sonny were down at Mercy, leaving the questioning to the two of you. Sonny ended up running off to a family dinner while you wrapped up this stage of paperwork. You dropped it off in Benson’s office, her giving you a quick thank you before she spoke again,</p><p>“You got a minute Summers?” Sighing gently, you’d been waiting for this all day, taking a lean against the arm of one of the chairs in front of her desk.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“That wasn’t just some story today, was it?” Olivia was gentle, you often praised the way she was able to deal so softly with victims before absolutely tearing apart a perp.</p><p>“No..” You shook your head, “I went off the Zoloft a few months after I transferred here, everything’s been great.”</p><p>“If you ever need to talk—“ You cut her off slightly, a small smile on your face.</p><p>“I go to therapy every two weeks Liv, I promise you I’m fine, and I’ll be the first to tell you if anything starts to go downhill. It’s just…my ex..kinda popped back up, took me by surprise, kinda threw a curve ball into things.” She gave you a soft smile, </p><p>“Okay. Great job today, now get outta here before I have to kick you out. You call me if you need anything.”</p><p>“I will.” You promised before leaving her office, a huff of satisfaction leaving your lips before you gathered your things.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So why am I here if the victim recanted?” Casey asked, </p><p>“Because it’s still a case counsellor, the victim came to us last night, her rape kit tested positive for fluids and DNA and she’s covered in bruises and cuts, we can’t just walk away from this.” Rollins rebottled. Amanda and Nick had taken this case, you and Carisi were buried in multiple different cases while you prepared victims to what it was like taking the stand, working through various amounts of witness statements outside the office.</p><p>“If we don’t have a victim I don’t have a case and you know that. We can’t just throw charges on someone in this situation.”</p><p>“It’s a domestic violence situation Casey, these are trickier. She’s either scared he’ll come after her again, or she’s blinded by love and thinks everything’s fine.” Olivia replied, “We need her statement, and her want to press charges, how do you want us to go about that?” Casey sighed heavily, </p><p>“Get Summers to talk to her…she’s good at this kind of thing, maybe the vic will flip, otherwise…I can’t do anything.”</p><p>“But! This is my case!” Amanda protested, Liv was quick to reach out an arm to attempt to calm her.</p><p>“Yeah and you’ve gotten nowhere with her so far.” Casey shot back, “Call me once Summers has her talking.”</p><p>Olivia was slightly confused at the way Casey spoke about you, as if there was some knowledge of each other’s pasts that neither of you had indulged. Though it was highly possible you’d crossed paths in the past, neither of you had mentioned knowing each other. Nonetheless she called you, telling you she needed you back at the precinct as Novak left.</p><p>“Cap, you’ve got to be kidding me! Carisi and I have 3 cases on the go already and you want us to take on <em>another one?</em>” You were confined into her office as the two of you spoke, </p><p>“I don’t need you to take on the case, I just need you to get the vic to talk.”</p><p>“Why me?” Your face scrunched, “Amanda’s been at this longer, she can’t handle it?”</p><p>“Novak requested you…and only you…said you had experience in the field.”</p><p>“What field?” You were exasperated, you had about twelve other things you needed to do and you were practically drowning in paperwork. </p><p>“Domestic violence.” You felt your body tense, “She mentioned you were good at being able to talk victims into realizing how much danger they were in, and after your work with Julia, I don’t doubt her.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair,</p><p>“Does she live with the perp?”</p><p>“He’s at work for another 4 hours, Amaro’s going to talk to him to make sure he’s kept occupied.” She held up the post it with the address on it, you grabbed it from her hand, moving to place it into your phone’s GPS.</p><p>“At least give Sonny a break on paperwork?” You begged, hand reaching her office door.</p><p>“I will.” She nodded as you took off.</p><p>**</p><p>You arrived at Valerie Sennet’s apartment roughly half an hour later, she’d originally been reluctant to let you in, even with the badge, but after hearing your reassuring voice, and noticing you didn’t have a partner with you,(and that you’d left your gun in the car, your shield shoved into a pocket, leaving all police evidence hidden) she’d let you in. You didn’t start off with talk of the job you started off easy, talking about Tessa, gaining her trust, sharing some of your own stories of your baby sister, exchanging laughs before you pressed the matter. </p><p>You reiterated some of the things that Rollins had already told Valerie, but you were much more gentle, your own experience living through the situation. When Valerie was still quick to deny the allegations against her soon to be ex, you brought up her daughter, even if she didn’t want to keep herself safe, she had to keep her only child safe from whatever her ex was willing to do. If he was willing to do it to his wife, who was telling what he would be willing to do to his daughter, whether now or 20 years from now, her ex wasn’t safe to be around. That if Valerie didn’t end up dead, her own daughter might end up leaving the family in a body bag… </p><p>You were honestly slightly surprised when she broke down against you. You let her cry, holding her against you until she was ready to come down to the precinct to make a formal complaint, promising that she was going to charge him and not drop the suit this time. Valerie loved her daughter more than anything and knew she had to keep her safe. You briefly passed on your info to Rollins before filling out some paperwork, Valerie was open to talking to the other detectives now, Olivia was quick to tell you to take the early leave on the day. </p><p>Your body was aching, you were completely exhausted, but you knew you had a stop to make before you started your way home for the day. You found your way outside the DA’s office, letting out a heavy sigh before you entered, pressing the elevator button for Novak’s floor. So far you’d done everything you could to avoid private interactions with her, but now seemed like a decent time. Casey was honestly surprised when she looked up at the knock on her door to se you standing in the entrance.</p><p>“Detective…you need something?” The pen in her hand froze, she felt her heart rate increase, it was completely unlike you to seek her out. You moved into the office, closing the door behind you before you leaned against the arm of one of the chairs in her office, folding your arms across your chest.</p><p>“I’m…curious as to why you demanded to Benson that I talk to the vic on the Sennet case…” Casey’s chest tightened, she briefly hated Liv for bringing up that she’d asked for you, but there was no one else better for the job, she let out a heavy sigh.</p><p>“Because I knew you’d be able to get through to her…You’ve got a talent Y/N, I knew she’d listen to you…” You could nearly feel tears brimming in your eyes, thankful when they held back, your frustration taking over.</p><p>“Funny…I haven’t always have that talent…” You were about to turn to leave when she spoke again,</p><p>“Y/N please..” You turned back, an eyebrow cocked, </p><p>“You still with Charlie?” Casey faltered at that, it had been years, she’d smartened up since Charlie, realizing just how deep she was into his mind games and craziness, she’d been incredibly lucky to escape him when she did. She could hear the smallest hint of a tremor in your voice, you weren’t over it.</p><p>“No.” She quickly replied, taking a second to regain her thoughts, “He…he was fine until he went off his meds again.. beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital…nearly killed me…” She didn’t miss the ‘I told you so’ glare from you at that, “I left him after that, haven’t heard from him since.” You took a minute to absorb the information.</p><p>“How’d he manage to walk without an assault charge?” Casey hung her head, ashamed at the way she’d handled the entire thing, not wanting to admit it, but knowing you’d push otherwise.</p><p>“I…used my A.D.A. badge…told the officers it was nothing, to ignore it…”</p><p>“Jesus Case…” You shook your head, she’d been buried so fucking deep, there’d been no way you’d be able to get her out when you’d tried. You were just happy she’d eventually realize how fucked up everything was, and that she deserved so much better. You could feel the tension in the room, obviously there was so much piled up history between the two of you, and so much emotion. As Sonny had half joked you really did still love her, and unbeknownst to you, she’d never stopped loving you, especially once you came back into each others lives. “Well…I’m…glad you made it out.” You huffed, opening the door, “And for the record, Valerie’s pressing charges, she doesn’t want her daughter to get hurt.”</p><p>“I knew you could do it.” She practically smirked as you left the office, praying that any amount of the information you’d exchanged would get you to trust her again.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say this case had been a doozy one would be an understatement. The squad had found a missing girl in the trunk of a car, raped and beaten within an inch of her life, it linked to another missing and raped girl down in Louisiana. When Olivia and Fin had gone to arrest the perp, he’d ended up bashing Fin so hard into the car that he’d gone temporarily blind. As it turned out, Saul Picard was a schizophrenic currently off his meds, completely out of it when the attacks took place. He’d thought he was watching other people rape his little sister, which he had in fact witnessed when he was 17. </p><p>The fed’s had been tipped off and they wanted to extradite him back to Louisiana for trial, where he would end up facing the death penalty, Casey managed to swaggle things around with his defence attorney to try him in New York. Problem being once Picard was back on his meds and lucid, he refused a 730 hearing to deem him incompetent of trial, instead wanting to go back to Louisiana to die, not being able to live with the guilt of what he’d done. You knew it had to be a tricky situation all around for Casey, careful to keep an eye on her from a distance, making sure to attend the trial. It wasn’t a complete surprise to you when she purposely threw the trial, causing Picard to have an outburst in court, the judge ruling for a 730 hearing. Returning to the precinct you ended up getting into with Olivia, standing up for Casey’s behaviour since she wasn’t there to do it herself.</p><p>“Picard doesn’t belong in a jail cell left to rot, he belongs in a hospital getting the proper care and you know it!” Tensions were rising, you knew it probably wasn’t smart to fight with your superior, yet here you were.</p><p>“Summers are you seriously saying that those two little girls don’t deserve justice for what happened to them?” </p><p>“They deserve to know that they’re safe, which they would be if Picard was simply off the streets! He needs help! You just wanted him dead and if he want back to Louisiana he would be, and you’d be sitting up here with clean hands! Novak did what she had to do!”</p><p>“Casey just threw the trial for personal reasons ‘cause of her schizophrenic ex!” That startled you, Olivia knew about that?!</p><p>“Doesn’t mean you weren’t motivated by revenge for what he did to your sergeant!” Benson’s face hardened,</p><p>“You know what? You’re done for the day, get out of here.” Huffing you grabbed your blazer from your desk, “And take tomorrow too.”</p><p>“Fine…” You turned from the squad room right as your phone pinged with a text. Picard had made a noose out of his shirt and tried to hang himself in lock up….</p><p>***</p><p>When you reached Rikers the guard told you Picard already had a visitor and you weren’t surprised to see Casey in the meeting room with him. You held back, knowing that she had the situation handled, not to mention you didn’t want to overwhelm Picard. Casey glanced up as she exited the room, surprised to find you standing in front of her.</p><p>“Y/N…what’re you doing here?” </p><p>“Same thing as you.” You nodded towards Picard, “He okay?” Casey sighed in response as the two of you made your way out of the building.</p><p>“Aside from still wanting to die…I guess so.”</p><p>“You look like you could use a drink…” She stalled at that, you’d warmed a little to her over the past few months, but still kept your distance, like you were keeping her an arms length at all times.</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>“Yeah, c’mon…”</p><p>***</p><p>The two of you ended up back at a small dive bar in Manhattan, sitting in a booth in the back, thankful for the alcohol making things flow easier between you.</p><p>“Do you think Picard’ll get better?” You asked quietly over the rim of your wine,</p><p>“I don’t know…” Casey was quiet, you could tell what was on her mind, “..I thought Charlie would…”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“He was living on the streets after I kicked him out…I got a call from the morgue 6 months ago…” She could feel the tears building up in her eyes, slightly hating that she still cared so much, “I just…can’t help but think that if I hadn’t…” Instinctively your hand reached across the table, giving hers a reassuring squeeze. Her chest tightened, feeling the flicker of a spark at the contact.</p><p>“Casey…you’re not to blame for this…you had to save yourself.”</p><p>“I know…” A wave of disappointment flowed through her when you removed your hand, she shook her head, trying to clear her brain of everything the Picard case had brought up. Deciding to change the subject completely she spoke again, “So…you and Carisi?” You laughed into your drink at that, </p><p>“I’m still as gay as the day you met me Case.” You took a sip, “Though he did kiss me once, maybe I should be more obvious…” She laughed at that, you were more than happy to finally see a smile break across her cheeks.</p><p>Over the next couple of hours things seemed to loosen up as you continued to talk, the conversation flowed through work, a bit of gossiping about the squad, other attorneys and the like. A bit of time was spent updating each other on the last few years of your lives, Casey was glad to hear that you were thriving at SVU, you seemed genuinely happy with how things had been going. It was only when your phone pinged that you’d realized how late it had gotten, settling up your tabs before leaving the bar. Awkwardness hung in the air between you as you started to say your good nights, you made to turn back to your car when Casey’s voice broke through the air gently.</p><p>“Hey…uhm…the story you told that vic..the Zoloft one…was that true?” You sighed, deciding your keys were suddenly more interesting than looking up at her.</p><p>“Yeah…All true…” Case felt another wave of guilt flow through her as you mustered the courage to actually meet her eye.</p><p>“I’m really sorry…” Her voice was barely above a whisper, shaking slightly in the night.</p><p>“Yeah…me too..” You seemed to suddenly get a sense of bravery, stepping towards her. It had been such a torturous few weeks working this case, everyone’s emotions were heightened, you nearly craved the affection, pulling her into a hug. Casey nearly jumped at the motion, surprised at tenderness, instinctively her arms wrapped around you. “You did the right thing Case…” She barely heard the murmur of your words, muffled against her coat. You stayed embraced until you started to feel the weight of the week lifted off your shoulders, pulling away slowly, you gave her hand another squeeze. “I’ll see ya around.” Casey gave you a soft smile, making your separate ways home.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks had passed since the Picard case had wrapped, Sonny smiled at your friendliness towards Casey since your night out, you hadn’t fully told him everything, but he knew you’d been out for drinks. Not to mention he could feel the tension shift between the two of you, meanwhile neither of you would even begin to acknowledge anything. You’d caught a new case that the vic had taken a liking to specifically you, once you’d collared the perp, you made a promise to keep in contact through the trial. Currently you were in Casey’s office with the vic Danielle, working through the case, scribbling down info in between the paperwork and the legal pad for notes. As you were filling out an official form you swore,</p><p>“Shit…” You muttered, “Casey, you got any white out?” She barely looked up from her conversation with Danielle,</p><p>“Yeah, top drawer..” She half gestured toward her desk. You pushed yourself up, moving to the other side of the office, tugging open the drawer before digging through it. Your hand hit a thick piece of glossy paper before you found what you were looking for. Your brows furrowed, your heart jumping into your chest as you took in the Polaroid, practically feeling tears burning into your eyes. At your frozen movement and silence Casey looked up at you, her anxiety spiking when she remembered what else she kept in that drawer of her desk.</p><p>“Y/N…” Your face shot up to hers, not surprised when your eyes were matched with tears in hers, </p><p>“Sorry…” You muttered, taking another look down at the picture, tossing it back into the drawer. It was one of the two of you had taken at your engagement party, when you’d been ecstatically happy, been so in love, laughing in each others arms. It was one of your all time favourite photos from your relationship and you didn’t quite know how to feel that Casey still held onto it. Your eyes found the white out, pulling it from the desk before you moved back to the table, silently witnessing the conversation.</p><p>A few hours later Casey thanked Danielle for her time before the vic made her cautious way out of the A.D.A.’s office. The room was silent for a few moments as you scribbled through your paperwork, you only stopped when you noticed Casey’s form stall in front of the table. You stopped your pen, looking up at her expectantly, your eyes softening at the adoring look on her face.</p><p>“Have…you kept that photo all this time?” You gently questioned, moving to stand from the table. Casey felt her heart palpitate in her chest, she hand’t felt this nervous in years.</p><p>“Yeah…I…I didn’t want to forget…one of the..uh..best days of my life..” You felt your chest tighten at her admission, there was the part of you that didn’t want to believe her, and then there was the part of you that never stopped loving her. As much as you were saddened for her that Charlie was dead you now at least knew for sure that he wasn’t going to pop back up in your lives, that he wouldn’t be able to tear the two of you apart again. </p><p>“B..but what about—“</p><p>“It was always you…I always loved you…” You couldn’t help the tears that slipped across your face at Casey’s admission, accepting her hands cupping your face while yours wrapped around her body in the most gentle, supple and soft kiss, her own tears intermingling with yours. Feeling your lips against hers sent you back into a complete sense of euphoria, like you were back exactly where you belonged.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Summers why are you nearly always the last one here?” Olivia spoke from the door of her office, you’d been so involved in looking through your most recent perp’s financials you practically jumped when her voice rung through the quiet bull pen. Looking up at her you simply shrugged, </p><p>“All I’ve got waiting at home for me is a bottle of wine and shitty T.V.?” You weren’t wrong, Fin had his cravings of beating his highest score on whatever his current gaming obsession was, Rollins had Jessie, Liv had Noah, Carisi had his huge family or plans with Rollins, Amaro had his family. You caught yourself in a realization at the thought, jeez, you really needed to find some new hobbies.</p><p>“Well I think it’s about time to head out, where about’s are you?”</p><p>“Tribeca.” You replied, closing your laptop as you began to pack up your things.</p><p>“You mind dropping these off at Novak’s on your way? She’s in the same neighbourhood and I’m up in Midtown.”</p><p>“Yeah, ‘course.” <br/>“Hey.” Casey greeted you with a soft smile when she opened the door,</p><p>“Hey,” You replied, leaning against the door frame as you dug through your bag, “Benson said you needed these tonight?” You presented her with the file folders, she took them from you, leafing through the top one.</p><p>“Yeah…thanks..” There was a brief moment of relaxed tension, “You uh…wanna come in?” Her voice was soft, but she could feel her heart rate speeding up in her chest. The two of you had been talking a lot more recently, stopping for brief lunches of coffee dates, but you hadn’t exactly discussed the kiss. You hesitated slightly, you wanted nothing more than to bury yourself into her arms in that moment but you still had a few walls up, and wasn’t sure how great of an idea it was. “C’mon…Grey’s is about to start, you’ll miss the beginning if you go home.” You laughed lightly at her coercion tactics, admitting defeat in response.</p><p>“You’re not wrong….” You flashed her a grin, moving into her apartment, ridding yourself of your shoes and coat, carefully placing your gun and shield in your bag. Casey offered you a glass of wine that you happily accepted before retreating into the living room to continue on your obsession with the medical drama.</p><p>Over the hour the two of you fell into a usual routine, the show gripped your attention but you still caught up during the commercial breaks, topping up the wine glasses. About halfway through the show Casey took a bold move, her head finding its way into your lap, your free hand followed its instinct against her hair, softly playing with it, things started to feel just like they were all those years ago. At the end of the episode Casey rolled half over to look up at you when she heard you sniffle, her face scrunched, a hint of a laugh ghosting on her lips,</p><p>“Are you…crying??” You laughed through a tiny cry, swatting at her arm,</p><p>“Shut up! As if you haven’t ugly cried over this show before!” She laughed heartily, poking fun at you as she sat up.</p><p>“You deal with real life shit way worse than this every day, you’re crying over a fictional patient.” </p><p>“I know…!! Fuckin’ Shonda Rhimes is going to be the death of me.” You both laughed at that, the air in the apartment was relaxed, you were both finally back to being comfortable around each other, no longer having to walk on eggshells. It was out of force of habit that Casey quickly leaned in, capturing your smiling lips in a soft kiss before she even realized what she was doing. Your breath hitched, the laughter immediately ceased, Casey quickly pulling away, muttering out an apology, </p><p>“Sorry…I..wasn’t thinking..” You were quick to gently grab her arm before she managed to stand.</p><p>“No..it’s okay…” Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as your eyes darted from hers back down to her lips, hand reaching out to softly cup her cheek, the desire evident in her eyes. Leaning in you kissed her again, lips moving against hers soothingly, a slow and assuring pace. Casey felt her body finally relax against you, years worth of tension melting as you wrapped your arms around her, fingers tracing against the baby hairs at the back of her neck. You were so gentle, your movements full of tenderness as you cherished having her body against yours, the complete opposite of what she’d become so used to with Charlie and it filled her with complete adoration. Your tongue slid across her lower lip, begging for entrance that she complied to, nearly moaning against your lips as your tongues danced against each other, relishing in finally being able to taste you again. When you finally came up for air, you found solace resting your forehead against hers, breaths coming out in airy pants, her eyes found yours before she whispered into the room.</p><p>“Stay…please?” You could see the worry hidden behind the lust in her eyes, how she wavered slightly as she waited for your response. “I just…need to forget the brutality…” Your heart nearly shattered at that, you could feel the tears glassing your eyes, you knew she had been through hell, but you didn’t think she would admit it, your thumb gently stroked her cheek.</p><p>“Oh Casey…” She felt the emotion bubbling up through her body, she hadn’t been with anyone since she’d escaped Charlie’s ferocity, too scared to get literally hurt again, and too caught up thinking about you all those years. Tears springing into her eyes at the softened adoration in yours, you pulled her into a soothing hug, “I’m not going anywhere baby…” Your lips softly kissed her head, “Let me remind you how you really deserve to be treated…” </p><p>The two of you easily found your way to the bedroom, slowly peeling clothes off each other’s bodies until you were finally bare, the feeling of skin on skin nearly too much for either of you. Casey nearly trembled underneath you, your lips moving against hers, molding perfectly together as your hand traced through her searing heat, doing your best not to tease as you rolled her clit with your fingers. She grasped at the back of your neck, pulling you as close to her as she could, other hand buried inside you, pumping her fingers at the same pace that you rolled against her. You broke the kiss, gasping for air as she hit your clit with her thumb, remembering exactly what it was that made you tick. You plunged two fingers into her wetness while you nibbled down her neck, settling against her pulse point, sucking the supple skin into your mouth. She moaned against you, tugging at the roots of your hair as your fingers curled, hitting the spongey feel of her most sensitive spot right as your thumb began flicking at her clit. You felt her hip rut up against your hand, begging for release,</p><p>“Cum for me baby…” You husked against her searing skin, a few more pumps and she lost it, her hand clenching against your cunt as she writhed under you. The spasming of her hand against your over sensitized spots had you gasping, moaning her name as your orgasm washed over you right as she shook in aftershocks against you. Slowly fucking each other through them you calmed your breath, kissing her gently, stroking the side of her face. “You okay?” You murmured,</p><p>“More than okay…”She breathed against your lips, kissing you softly again. Pulling your fingers from her, you began your descent, kissing your way down her body, not missing an inch of skin, worshiping her completely. You laid gentle kisses on her inner thighs, fingertips trailing patters across her hip bones before you licked a stripe up her pussy, groaning at the taste of her that you’d missed so intensely. Her hands were quick to grip into your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail as your tongue probed into her, lapping out as much wetness as you could, sucking her lower lips into your mouth, sucking against them as you fucked her with your mouth. </p><p>Casey was gasping for air, whimpering out a string of curses littered with your name at the sensations, one of her hands shot out to yours still on her hip and you were quick to interlock your fingers, your thumb soothingly stroking hers. Humming against her, your lips encased her clit, tugging it into your mouth as your fingers found their way back into her weeping pussy, plunging in with ease, curling and twisting, hitting all of the right spots. Flicking your tongue against her clit as you tapped at her g-spot you could feel her walls fluttering around you, knowing she was incredibly close you increased the pressure on both ends, moaning against her, the vibrations causing her thighs to start to shake. A few more pumps later, her hand had yours in a death grip, her head thrown back against the pillows, your name breathily leaving her lips as she nearly saw stars. Casey hadn’t felt anything as powerful as that in years, she practically felt like she’d blacked out as she came. Oh so gently, you removed your fingers from her, not missing the small whimper at the loss of contact. You let her catch her breath, kissing your way up her body before you came to rest beside her, propped up on a elbow while your other hand smoothed the hair back off her face.</p><p>“Jesus Christ…” She managed to make out between puffs, you laughed lightly, rolling onto your back and tugging her body to curl against yours, lying against your chest as you traced patterns along her bare skin. You tucked the blankets up around your bodies, kissing the top of her head, humming in satisfaction. “You’re…not gonna leave?” Casey shifted her head slightly to be able to see you, you smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.</p><p>“Baby I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” Her lips broke into a grin at that, laying a kiss against your skin as she snuggled deeper against you, ecstatic to have you back in her arms like this. Both of you ended up falling asleep easier than either of you had in years that night, feeling completely safe and finally in the right place again.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning you managed to slide into your desk only a mere 15 minutes late, more than thankful when you noticed Sonny had picked you a decent cup of coffee on his way to the precinct. He eyed you carefully as you quickly pulled out your laptop and a few files, attempting to make it look like you’d been there on time when Benson would enter the room. When you caught him staring you your brows furrowed.</p><p>“What?” You quietly questioned.</p><p>“Way ta stand me up last night.” You felt your heart quicken in your chest, shit, you’d completely forgotten you had plans with Carisi for drinks last night. He’d left work earlier ‘cause he was helping Bella with something, but you’d agreed to meet at 9:30.</p><p>“Shit. Sonny I’m so sorry, I got caught up checking into Herman’s financials, I totally blanked, I was here ’til practically midnight.” He cocked a brow at that, </p><p>“Really…cause when I came to pick up a file at 10:30 ya were nowhere to be seen.” You huffed as he turned back to his computer, nearly missing the next quiet comment, “Nice shirt…” You glanced down, obviously you couldn’t show up wearing the same thing as the day before, but that was one of the biggest advantages to dating girls, you could share clothes all the time.</p><p>“…Thank you..?” Your face scrunched at his reply, confused at the statement as you opened your laptop to start digging through the rest of Herman’s financials. You heard Sonny huff out a frustrated sigh, gaining eye contact with you before nodding his head towards a conference room, standing from his desk. Giving a quick glance around the squad room you followed him, closing the door behind you. Before you could open your mouth he was on you, voice hushed but still heated.</p><p>“Ya really think this is a good idea?”</p><p>“Sonny <em>what </em>are you talking about?” He rolled his eyes, the frustration seeping off his body.</p><p>“I’m talkin’ about you sleeping with the ex that completely destroyed you!” You could see the concern in his eyes as you shrugged off his comments.</p><p>“Oh please! I tell you one little fib and you think I’m fucking Casey?! Am I not allowed to have a sex life? I’m not one of your sisters!”</p><p>“You’re my partner! I don’t wanna see ya spiral down that hole again cuz you let her hurt you!”</p><p>“I wasn’t with Casey last night, not that it’s any of your business anyways Carisi!”</p><p>“Really?! Cuz Novak was wearin’ that shirt last Friday.” Fuck. She’d spent most of the day at the precinct, you remembered distinctly that she had the shirt on, technically it was your shirt, you’d simply missed grabbing it because it was in the laundry the day you’d picked up your things. Trying to cover your tracks you rolled your eyes, </p><p>“So we have the same shirt, so what?”</p><p>“Never seen you in it before.” His brows were furrowed, hands on his hips, he was nearing his usual interrogation stance as your conversation continued.</p><p>“It was too tight, didn’t fit ’til recently…”</p><p>“Stop fuckin’ lying to me!” You nearly froze at that, Sonny wasn’t one to use profanity towards another person, or at all, looking him in the eyes you could read the frustration and emotion behind them.</p><p>“I repeat..it’s none of your damn business.” You moved towards the door, fingers wrapping on the handle to pull it open when his hand nearly slammed against it, holding it shut. “Carisi!!” You practically shouted, turning to face him, “Stop behaving like a fucking child.”</p><p>“It <em>is</em> my business if you end up heartbroken and depressed again, Y/N, you nearly lost your job last time! She treated you like shit! After the crap she pulled with the Picard trial aren’t you worried about her running off with her ex again?” You were practically fuming at this point, there was no doubt you cared for your partner, but he was treating you like you were his 15 year old daughter. You and Casey had spent a few hours curled in each others arms talking over everything the night before, shedding more than enough tears before the conversation extended over breakfast that morning, exploring every inch of emotion and secrets that had gone on over those few weeks before your split, and the years following. You shoved at Carisi’s shoulders, pushing him off you as you stalked up to him.</p><p>“Charlie was a fucking schizophrenic and <em>off his meds</em> Sonny! He had been playing fucking mind games for MONTHS with her, he’d managed to convince her that I didn’t love her, that I didn’t want to marry her and that I didn’t deserve her but he did!! I was so fucking busy studying for the detective’s exam trying to prove myself for the promotion I wasn’t paying enough attention and it was more than easy enough for her to believe his bullshit.” You felt the tears welling in your eyes, “You said it yourself, I’m still in love with her, and I’m never not going to be.”</p><p>“And when Charlie pops back up, off his meds and tries to hurt you again, or take her away, what then?!”</p><p>“Charlie’s fucking <em>dead</em> Sonny!” He stilled at that and you could see the thoughts scrambling in his head as he tried to figure out his next tactic,</p><p>“Novak’s still fuckin toxic for you, you shouldn’t be with her.” You laughed outwardly at that, Sonny barely knew Casey outside of work and the very few heartbreaking stories you’d told him, </p><p>“You wanna talk TOXIC Sonny?! How about Rollins?! You don’t see all those fucking red flags?”</p><p>“That is NOT what we’re talking about right now!”</p><p>“Oh..so we’re just attacking <em>my</em> relationships then?!” </p><p>“So you admit you’re having a relationship with her?” You groaned angrily, Sonny tensed, he’d seen you act this upset with perps before but he’d never actually seen you this riled up before as you advanced upon him. Your small frame entirely intimidating him as you cornered him in the room.</p><p>“Carisi you have NO idea what it is like to be so fucking in love with someone that you’d do absolutely anything for them, that they’re <em>all you can think about,</em> even after they completely tear your fucking heart apart! All those years ago I should have fought harder, I should have done more, I left her to nearly DIE at his hands and I’ll never forgive myself for it. And you know NOTHING about Casey, sure, things are <em>fucking complicated </em>but we’ll figure them out, we’ve already started trying and you can’t stop us. If you have a problem with the way I conduct myself outside of work, I’d prefer you to keep it to your fucking self from now on, <em>understood?” </em>He stuttered, trying to protest when the door swung open, wooden blinds clattering against the glass.</p><p>“We okay in here?” Benson’s harsh voice rung through the room, looking between the two of you.</p><p>“We’re fine…” You practically snapped back, you already had the reputation to be snippy with the Captain, you figured you could save Carisi from that at the least.</p><p>“Herman’s in interrogation two…maybe you two could take out your anger on a criminal rather than each other?” She cocked a brow, not wanting to deal with your bullshit today (or any day really…) You both let out a sigh, moving towards the door, if you were this riled up an interrogation was probably the best thing to come your way.</p><p>**<br/>It took less than 10 minutes before Herman confessed, turning into a trembling excuse of a man at your questioning. Olivia was impressed, she’d seen you work perps pretty well before but usually Carisi was the bad cop while you were the gentle one with the vic’s. Casey had joined her on the other side of the glass at the time of questioning, when Sonny saw her he practically stormed out of the room back to his desk, eager to get back to paperwork, you however turned to her.</p><p>“That sufficient Counsellor?” She gave you a small smile, nodding, </p><p>“More than enough, he did understand his miranda, right?” Olivia nodded at that, mentioning that it was her and Fin that made the arrest. Her phone went off, she quickly excused herself back to her office to answer it, leaving Novak and you alone outside the interrogation room. Casey could feel the tension radiating off you as you took a heavy breath.</p><p>“You okay?” She questioned softly, “Herman’s scum, he’s not worth it.” You took a heavy breath, glancing towards the door to assure you were alone before you replied.</p><p>“It’s not Herman…I..got into it with Carisi…” Casey’s brow furrowed, </p><p>“You two’ve always been so close.” You gave her a sympathetic look, </p><p>“He recognized the shirt…thought he could lecture me about a relationship with you..doesn’t understand…” Her eyes softened, hand squeezing yours reassuringly, </p><p>“I don’t want you to have to fight with your friends because of us…” You met her gaze, a small smile on your lips, </p><p>“Baby I’d go to war for you…” You brazenly moved forward, kissing her cheek gently, when you pulled away she had a smirk on her lips</p><p>“Relationship hey?” She quirked a brow, you let out a soft chuckle, rolling your eyes, </p><p>“I mean…we’re at some stage of one, aren’t we? Besides, after talking through everything…I really missed you. I…I’d like to try again Casey..if you’re up for it?” Smiling she stroked the side of your face, pulling you into a soft kiss, her heart swelling for the first time in years, adoration taking over the room.</p><p>“You have no idea how much I’d love to…”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If you thought Sonny was keeping an overbearing eye on you, he was keeping even more of one on Casey, nothing to the point of stalking or getting into arguments with her or anything. He wanted to simply make sure that she wasn’t running around behind your back, he took to popping up at her office unexpected, carefully watching her interactions with other people. He obviously never caught her doing anything that could be considered troublesome, because she simply wasn’t doing it. He thought for sure he’d caught her one night. He’d been walking back from the bodega when he spotted her through a restaurant window sitting at a table with someone he didn’t know, it certainly looked like a date. Sonny was nearly pulling out his cell phone for proof when you practically bounded back to the table from the bathroom, giving Casey a sweet kiss on the cheek as you settled into a seat beside her. </p><p>The air at work was tense between the two of you, but there were no more blowouts at the precinct so Benson kept her nose out of it. You still worked more than well together on your cases and neither of you asked for a switch up of partners so she figured it was a one time thing. Currently you were in an interview room with Casey, going over a story with a victim, explaining how testifying would work and the like. Carisi had his eye on the three of you, the blinds were tilted half shut to keep some privacy but from his desk he had a direct line of sight through the open jar of the door. </p><p>Standing, you thanked the vic for her time, giving her one of your business cards, telling her to call if she needed anything. You didn’t bother shutting the door all the way as you turned back to Casey.</p><p>“She’s good…doubt you’ll have an issue with her flaking come trial.” You mentioned as she started to pack up her things, she smiled softly at you as she stood.</p><p>“That’s because she had a great detective helping her through it..” Knowing the blinds were shut and the squad room was practically empty she moved closer to you, pulling you into a gentle kiss. You smiled against her lips, hands loosely wrapping around her waist, eyes glimmer when you pulled back. Casey left a small kiss on the tip of your nose, causing you to let out a little giggle, a warm grin on your cheeks.</p><p>“It’s…not too early to tell you that I love you, is it?” She beamed at that, her eyes sparkling with love back at you.</p><p>“No..definitely not..” You shared another soft kiss, “I love you too.” Her fingers gently moved a strand of loose hair behind your ear, tracing down your jawline before she dropped it from your body as her phone pinged, she checked the message quickly, “I’ve got to get going.” She gave you another quick kiss before she moved from the room. </p><p>It may have only been around a month of you being back together, but given the circumstances, things were moving faster than normal. You’d truly forgiven her for her mistakes, letting your last set of walls down as you let her in again. You spent most of your free time with each other, easily falling back into old routines. You were usually able to coax her out of her office and into your apartment for the late nights of work instead, the promises of delicious take out that was usually followed by a string of orgasms definitely gave you the upper hand. When you’d joked that she was spending more time at your apartment than her own, she cocked a brow asking if you were trying to discreetly ask her to move in, sparking that conversation. </p><p>Sonny watched as the two of you grew closer, and he certainly noticed that despite the tension in the partnership that you were the most genuinely happy he’d ever seen you. There was almost always a soft smile on your face, you laughed more often at Fin’s ridiculous jokes, somehow you’d gotten <em>even better</em> with talking to vic’s. When you were practically humming as you dropped back into your desk chair, happily watching Casey head to the elevator, he knew what he needed to do. Your face scrunched in confusion as he jumped from his desk, hearing the elevator ding,</p><p>“Counsellor!” He called out, you groaned, rolling your eyes. Carisi barely made it into the elevator before the doors shut, trapping Casey alone inside with him.</p><p>“Something I can help you with detective?” Her attention was mainly directed on replying to an email on her phone.</p><p>“Yeah..uh…about Y/N..” Casey rolled her eyes, </p><p>“You’re not here to yell at me about it are you?”</p><p>“No! I just..she’s really, really happy now, and I don’t wanna see her end up spiralling down again.” She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for the man to continue, “My sister Gina, she’s gotten back together with her ex about five times and every time he cheats on her again. I keep tryin’ to tell her that once a cheater, he’s always goin’ be a cheater, but she never listens.” She let out a sigh, </p><p>“Carisi…I’m sure what you know about my personal life and my relationship with Y/N is limited, especially after you <em>freaked out</em> on her about it. I love her, and I swear to you I’m not going to hurt her. I was being completely manipulated and gaslighted by my mentally unstable ex, he had me completely convinced that she no longer cared for me. I spent nights bawling my face off thinking that my fiancee didn’t actually love me, didn’t want to marry me. Charlie took advantage of that and slid his psychotic self into the emptiness that I was <em>drowning in.</em> It wasn’t a drunken mistake or an ongoing affair, it was an emotional disaster for <em>everyone</em> involved. I’m not a bad person. She’s so happy because <em>she’s in love,</em> and you’re going to have to either accept that, or your not one of her supporters anymore.” She was unbelievably thankful when the elevator dinged, hitting the main floor.</p><p>“I just really care about her..” Sonny softly admitted as she moved to leave, stopping to turn back to face him.</p><p>“So do I…”</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Sonny’s little chat with Casey he did start to accept the fact that the two of you were sticking together. He could tell just how happy you were and didn’t want to have your relationship only be work related ‘cause he couldn’t let go of a grudge that you’d already dropped. As Casey started to move her things into your apartment, you encouraged him to come over more often, and the three of you started regular hangouts. He let go of the overprotective grip he had on you, reminding himself that you were a big girl and you could make decisions yourself, and you always had been. </p><p>Once things had gotten serious again you’d made sure to disclose to the appropriate people, knowing that neither of you wanted any kind of dramatic blow up in the work place, or worse, the court room. Olivia had been supportive, thankful that you’d come to her instead of trying to hide it until it was a professional issue. It had been a series of months, the cold winter air vanishing in exchange for the warmth and blooming of mid spring, the city was bubbling with energy and the two of you were simply bursting with love.</p><p>SVU had been working on a case of sexual assaults tied to an initiation process of one of the major gangs in the city, you were surprised when it had been as quick to get to trial as it did. The final day of the trial ended up getting pushed from Wednesday to Friday, when you and Casey had fancier dinner plans, and you ended up having to take the stand. Both of these being leading factors to why you opted for one of your nicer blouses and a pencil skirt, and why you waited until the verdict was in, long past the time Carisi had left the courthouse. You were both glad and proud of Casey when the jury came back guilty on all accounts, giving her a soft smile  and a quick wink when she glanced back at you. </p><p>Waiting for her to gather her things you moved towards her table, giving her a congratulations on the case, glancing around the court room before daring to leave a quick kiss on her cheek. She smiled in response, not really caring if there was anyone else around when she gave you a soft kiss, linking your hands together.</p><p>“You done for the day?” She questioned, you nodded.</p><p>“Liv gave me the rest of the day off…all yours baby…”</p><p>“Perfect. I’ve just got to make a quick stop at my office and we’re good to go.” You hummed in response, giving her a quick snuggle as the two of you moved from the courtroom. Hogan Place was literally only a block away and didn’t hinder your plans at all. You were slightly surprised there wasn’t a media circus on the courthouse steps waiting for statements from the A.D.A, though there had been a couple of much more high profile cases that week. You managed to escape without anyone noticing, Casey never dropping your hand from hers. You did however hear a voice yell out, </p><p>“Miss Novak!” The tone was angry, as your head started to shoot towards the noise you realized it was simply a distraction, your eye catching the glint of metal in its path. Your hand flew to your gun, hand on the trigger faster than you even realized was possible, shoving Casey behind you as the shots rang out through the air. There was a smattering of screams across the staircase as people ducked for cover, the loudest coming from Casey as she watched you crumple in front of her, blood slowly soaking the pristine white of your crisp shirt. Gasping for air, your vision blurry your hand reached out to her, tugging against the sleeve of her blazer.</p><p>“Ge..get..down..” Her head flashed up, eyes full of tears, </p><p>“He’s gone….Baby…baby please…please hold on…” She couldn’t even think about wiping her tears away, both hands pressed heavily against your leaking abdomen, shouting for someone to call an ambulance. She barely noticed Olivia appearing at her side, phone to her ear as she yelled into it for a bus. You felt your vision going black, the pain nearly unbearable, hand grasping against Casey, trying to gain her full attention, your words gurgling out.</p><p>“I..I..love you…” She let out a sob at that, there was no way she could lose you again, not after all of this. Your lives had taken their different paths but they’d brought you back together, you’d solved your problems, forgiven each other for all of the mistakes you’d made. You were fully moved in together by now, she’d never felt as loved as she did when she was with you, you were her literal everything, she didn’t know if she could bare to exist without you. Casey was practically in hysterics when the paramedics arrived, quickly moving your unconscious form into the ambulance. Olivia did her best to calm her down, practically dragging her into her car, knowing she would be nothing but in the way if she tried to ride with you.</p><p>**</p><p>It was nearly four hours later when a nurse finally appeared in the waiting room with an update. Casey was an absolute wreck, she’d sobbed against Olivia until she had nothing left to cry out, her body trembling against the Captain, absolutely terrified of losing you. The rest of the squad had been notified, Carisi the first to make it to the ER, tears in his stormy blue eyes, asking if they knew anything, voice shaking as he took a seat next to Benson. The nurse said that it was pretty touch and go, you’d lost a lot of blood, the bullet had hit some important organs and the surgeon was still figuring out scans as to whether it would be better to leave it in or go in surgically to remove it, considering there was a risk of you bleeding out if they did that.</p><p>Olivia tightened her arms around Casey, Sonny gently rubbing her back, reminding her how incredibly strong you were, that you’d make it through this. He may have been half assuring himself, but it was something. When they got the next update they asked if the next of kin had been called, Casey felt her heart clench, she was your emergency contact, she was the only one you considered family. When she mentioned it the nurse moved to talk to her privately, asking if she had an opinion on what to be done. They could leave the bullet it and risk septic shock and infection, resulting in a very fast and unexpected death but if they took it out, they were taking your uterus with it, though that was a 90%  guaranteed survival. Casey felt a new set of tears spring into her eyes, but this time of relief, when the topic of kids had come up you both agreed you didn’t want them, she relayed that to the nurse, praying that you hadn’t changed your mind (not that there weren’t other options, but she didn’t want you to hate her when you woke up).</p><p>It was nearly another three hours when the nurse came out to speak to the squad again, Sonny had nearly fallen asleep against Casey’s shoulder, forgetting he was supposed to be the one doing the comforting. With a gentle smile, the nurse turned to Casey, mentioning that you’d been moved to recovery, were awake and asking for her. Leading you to her room, she shut the door behind her for privacy. You groaned lightly, head rolling on the elevated bed towards the noise,</p><p>“Case…” You questioned, she let out a sob, rushing against you, pulling you gingerly into her arms, tears falling down her cheeks that she didn’t think she had left in her by this point.</p><p>“Oh my God…you’re okay…you’re okay baby…” Her hand stroked through the back of your head, your arms wrapped tightly around her. You simply held each other in the dim of the hospital room, thankful to be together. </p><p>“Wh..what happened?” You muttered, pulling slightly out of the hug, remaining in her embrace, hand moving to wipe her tears away, “We..we were outside the courthouse…I just remember firing and then…pain…” Your eyes searched hers, “Are you okay?” The fact that your voice wavered with concern for hers despite you being the one in the hospital bed made her heart swell even more.</p><p>“Baby I’m fine…you saved my life today…” She softly kissed your forehead, “And you’re one damn good shot, you got the bastard who came after me…” She smiled gently at that, grateful that your expression matched hers, “But..baby..has a nurse talked to you?” You shook your head, confused at her concern, “They…they either had to risk leaving the bullet in you, there was a high risk of complications if that happened…or…they remove it..along with your uterus..” Her voice was quiet, she could barely meet your eye, “I know we’d talked about it already but please..please don’t hate me..I told them to do whatever they could to save you.” You instinctively found your hand on your lower abdomen, feeling the stitches traced across it before you stroked Casey’s cheek.</p><p>“Baby… We already talked about it. We’re not going to have kids…and if we change our minds, we can adopt, not to mention you’ve still got a uterus…” You shared a small laugh at that, absorbing the moment of love between you, “I’m sorry I ruined our date night. I know you had something special planned…” </p><p>“You’re not wrong there…” You didn’t miss the quick glance over towards her bag while she made the comment. You nudged her gently, </p><p>“What, you got me something pretty?” Her glassy eyes met yours, a grin on her face, </p><p>“I’d say so…Did you want to know?”</p><p>“Baby I almost died, whatever you had planned, I wanna know it all…” She leaned in, palm caressing your face as her lips met yours in the most loving kiss she’d ever given you. Casey reached across to her bag, digging through it for a minute before she retrieved a small blue box. Your breath hitched, you may have been a little out of it but you did not miss the fact that it was the date you’d originally gotten engaged all those years ago. “Case…” Your voice was barely above a whisper.</p><p>“I..I know things have been kind of crazy, or moving fast or whatever, but I love you Y/N, I always have and I always will. I understand if you want to have a long engagement or if you want to wait, but, I want nothing else. Will you marry me?” Moving a hand up to your mouth you choked out a cry, </p><p>“Case..I took a fuckin’ bullet for you, what do you think the answer is?!” A gleeful smile broke out across her lips as she moved to kiss you again, the tears between you turning to joy as she placed the diamond on your finger. You honestly had no clue this was coming, you loved Casey more than you loved anyone else, and if it was possible, you loved her more now than you had before. It certainly had been a rocky road back together, but the universe knew that you belonged together, and it had waited until the absolute perfect and emotional moment to remind you of that. </p><p>It was a few loving and caring moments of you and Casey celebrating before a gentle knock came on the door, Sonny appearing against the frame.</p><p>“Okay if I come in?” His voice was soft, his eyes forgiving and full of emotion, he was your partner, he was supposed to have your back. If you got shot, he should have been the one to take the perp down, but you’d managed to do that all yourself.</p><p>“Sonny..” You smiled, “Yeah…come on in…” Casey leaned back, giving him an opportunity to give you a deep hug, pulling your body against his, doing his best not to cry now that you were okay.</p><p>“I’m sorry Doll, I should’ve stayed, I—“ You cut him off, </p><p>“Dominick, it wouldn’t have mattered, someone was going to get hurt no matter what. That’s part of our job. Besides, you’ve got a more important job coming up anyways.” He furrowed his brows, completely confused at your comment, shooting a glance at a smirking Casey before looking back at you. You simply held up your left hand, the diamond ring sparkling on your finger, “You’ll be my best man, right?”</p><p>That regular dopey grin broke out on his face, pulling you into an embrace as he said that he of course would, congratulating the two of you. Sonny had come a long way, understanding that love wasn’t always easy, it took a lot of time, a lot of struggles, but if life wanted you to be with someone, it had a weird way of bringing your paths together over and over again until you realized just how much you were meant to be. You and Casey Novak, you were absolutely fucking meant to be.</p>
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